Dental Shout-Out

I like pretty teeth, but I hate the dentist.  WHY, you ask?  Dentists (more so, their ASSistants) find pleasure in verbally assaulting you when your teeth DARE be anything less than perfect.  AND they have the upper hand because your mouth is full of their fingers and you can’t respond or defend yourself.

Case-in-point: Last time I was at the dentist, the pompous assistant asks while haughtily scrapping away at my teeth, “So, how much soy sauce DO you eat? . . .”  WHAT!? How in the world do I EVEN begin to form a response to such an asinine question? Cups per month?  Drops per hour?  ASSININE!  (DEFENSE! I have relatively nice teeth and eat hardly ANY soy sauce, thank you very much) 

The only other occupation that rivals this is a computer tech with their condescending lingo and personal jabs.  Yeah, I WANTED that virus to find its way on my computer.  OF COURSE, I LIKE it when my computer runs slower than molasses.  I don’t care that I did not know to run an HK-3561 scan before I upload my Vex350.  THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU, you idiot!

I do NOT pay people for insults (they come so easily on their own).  I pay you to shut your trap and clean my teeth!

Sorry, I digress.

SO, today I reluctantly ventured to the dentist.  (It has actually been a couple years - you know, poor college students with no insurance - and I was a little anxious.  Megs had gotten her teeth cleaned a month back and when I found out how much they charged her I almost hit the floor.  SO, my sweet wife did a little investigation and found a new dentist in town that was running a new patient deal.  $39 for exam, x-ray, and cleaning!  She signed me up!)  I walked in a put on my happy face.  Long of the short . . . it was the MOST ENJOYABLE dental visit I have had since I could lay down and watch the train go in circles when I was getting my braces tightened.  NO RIDICULE.  NO JABS.  Just a straight forward and honest exam, x-ray, and cleaning.  Even though the dentist informed me that I have FOUR cavities to serviced (another story for another day . . .aka, my last dentist did not fix my last ones like he was supposed to . . .), he still did it with respect and dignity and gave me the benefit of the doubt.  I walked out a happy man . . . then I realized how much cavities suck to have fixed. 

KIDS, listen up!:  When the dentist tells you to floss twice a day, he means it . . .

I am a big believer that good business deserved a BIG SHOUT-OUT!  SO, . . .

ALPENGLOW DENTAL

Give ‘em a try.

Paternal Awesomeness

So, Father’s Day . . . AWESOME!  Wanna know why?

The Breakdown:

The day was started with a little French Toast con milk.  Emmalee and I shared while watching a little MoMo (aka, Finding Nemo).  We got ready and then off to my parents for lunch.  We gifted it up and then we churched it up and went to Brooke and Dan’s (I WOULD have inserted a link to Brooke’s blog here, but then again she went “private” and stopped blogging . . .Guilt trip? Yes.) for little baby Eden’s blessing.  We then did dinner at Meg’s parent’s house.  Here, Meg convinced me to take a little fifteen minute sabbatical from Lent (FYI, this was the FIRST and ONLY!) and had me try half of each cupcake (chocolate chocolate, coconut, and lemonade cupcakes . . . it was worth it!), but don’t tell anyone.  Went home and ended the night with a great summer evening stroll with my two favorite ladies.  Awesome.

The Gifts:

So, my wife ROCKS and showered me (we “talked” about limits, but apparently she was deaf then) with awesomeness!  In response to my earlier post entitled Mein Kampf, my wife retaliated with THESE!:

These are great books that help you in the “real” world of food. You know, when you are in line at Wendy’s, what you should REALLY pick over what you THINK is bad.  (You would be shocked with a few of the things we have read.  In a few cases, chicken is NOT the best way to go.)

AND THIS!

That’s right, Rocco Dispirito’s awesome cookbook!  He has revamped come of our favorite recipes and made them calorically manageable!  FOR EXAMPLE!

 

Figure friendly BBQ RIBS!

AND . . .

General Tso’s Chicken!  I officially approve of this one!

AND . . . be excited! . . .

Jalapeno Poppers!  I’m gettin’ all goose fleshy just THINKING about them!

FINALLY . . . drum roll please . . .

CHOCOLATE BROWNIES!!!  Check out the stats on these:

If you are nice, maybe you will be the recipient of many of these recipes.

In additional to the above awesomeness, my wife also showered me with this:

A WONDERFUL Daddy and ME book that may or may not have made me cry.

and finally THIS gem that I CANNOT wait for!:

St. George getaway vacation!  (My wife . . .she settles for nothing less that great deals.)

All-in-all, an OUTSTANDING Father’s Day.  I am such a lucky and blessed man to have my wonderful and breathtaking wife and adorable baby girl.  I could not a happier dad.

Wanted: Your 2 Cents

From as far back as I can remember, I had my future planned.  I was going to become a doctor.  While in junior high/high school when each student was asked to explore career options, I always sat pretty with the idea that I had it figured out and I didn’t need to think of anything else.  I took classes and certifications that put me on my path and everyone was aware of my aspirations.  I went to and got home from Alabama, signed up for the pre-med program at the U and started on my path . . . then it all came to an abrupt halt.  Through work, school, and a fair amount of consideration, those “sure” future ideas were gone.  I became like a fish out of water, scrambling for some kind of direction. . . (insert long story here). . . Three years later, I was graduating for BYU in Business Management. 

Dear life: sometimes you are exciting, but don’t make much sense.

And now here we are.  And after THINKING I was set with my future plans, I find I am not so swift at this “what should I do with my life” thing.  We are coming up on seven months since graduation and I am still in hot pursuit of one of those “career” thingies.  One of those careers that seems to “fit” with who I am.  After hundreds of applications and a couple healthy handfuls of interviews (I’ll spare you the gory details), we are getting close to needing to make SOME kind of decision.  I have toyed around with a few ideas, but can’t really nail one down.  I have an internal conflict between the apparent “stable” and “conservative” options and the ones that allow me to pursue passions.  Not only do each have their pros and cons, but I find that I could love many aspects of each.

Once I was confident in my future, but now the details are so blurry, if visible at all. . . . HELP!

So, let me throw a few of these ideas up the flagpole and see if I get any salutes.

#1 – Business

I graduated in business management from the Y and I really loved it.  I excelled in many aspects of my education and have some past experience that has taught me that I could love good old “industry” and I would be pretty friggin’ good at it . . . BUT WHICH industry?  This is perceived as the “stable” and “sensible” option and I like that.  It doesn’t seem to give much space for other life passions, but that is why we vacation, pursue, hobby, and dream, right? . . .

This option includes grad school in 3-5 years.

#2 – Production

This one institutes a bit of business, but a larger dose of creativity.  I THINK I would love production (producer, manager, etc.) in the areas of radio/movies/television, but I am not completely sure seeing that I don’t REALLY know what the options are or what the scene is like.  This may also included a big step in going back to school in an area I am not totally sure about.

#3 – Culinary School

I am being completely serious.  Not only is this a passion, but I have the business to back it up.  I would really enjoy this, but do I have the huevos to do it?  Is it really a REAL option or is it just an exciting thought?

#4 – Surprise Option

The option I really don’t know about yet . . .

So there you have it.  YOU DECIDE 2010! . . . I patiently await your opinions. 

And the winner is…

Happy Fathers Day to the bestest Daddy I could ever have asked for my little lady!

Curd Connoisseur

I enjoy me some cottage cheese . . .and have all my life.  I like my cottage cheese in many ways:

• Straight up
• with Salt and Pepper
• On my salad with ranch dressing, cheddar, ham, croutons, vinegar, and pepper
• in my lasagna
• with chips (preferably BBQ kettle chips)
• as a midnight snack
• and (as my wife just discovered) with dill

I do not:

• eat my cottage cheese with fruit . . .

So, where am I getting with this?  I have something to say and I am going to say it to my good friend:

Kroger Cottage Cheese

Now, Kroger low-fat and I have been pals for years; HOWEVER, I may have to play the fair-weather card because he has some real competition coming his way.  Let me introduce you to:

 

Great Value!

That’s right, good old GV, Great Value, aka WALMART brand Cottage Cheese!  This crap is GOOD (why is it that NAME brand can’t hold a cottage cheese candle to GENERIC brand?  Don’t know, don’t care).   

So Kroger, you need to step up your game or you’re out!  I’m not afraid to do it.

Oh and GV, don’t be lookin’ all cool.  One mis-step and you’re TOAST!

. . . I like my cottage cheese.

3 years ago today…

I married this man. My BEST friend. My Eternal companion. My other half.

The day was PERFECT! Full of light.. in SO many ways! The Temple was such a beautiful experience, full of family and friends…and the grounds could not have looked anymore amazing.

 

Photographer? Perfect. Videographer? Perfect. Florists (My amazingly talented Aunt Allie)? Perfect. Food? Perfect. Cake (yes it gets its own category)? Perfect. Band? Perfect. The Venue (My parents backyard that they slaved away in FOREVER)? Perfect. What more could a girl ask for. It is still the most PERFECT day to me. Nothing went wrong, I had absolutely NO worries.

Highlights from the day are below!

 

  

  

   

Oh.. did I mention that we danced the night away? Under the stars? Yes, we sure did!

    

 

It truly was perfection! That is how every young bride should feel… and I STILL do!

Sorry for the image overload… but believe me, I have A LOT more I could and WOULD have posted!

Mein Kampf

I have a struggle.  Well, its more of a complaint, but it FEELS better when I call it “My Struggle”. . . that way, I have more of a right to kvetch. 

Caution: KVETCHING AHEAD!

Over the past 5 months, I have done what I can to make healthy dining choices and it has paid off wonderfully.  I feel healthier now than I have in a long time and I wouldn’t trade that for anything; HOWEVER, I have – in turn – developed an eating disorder, of sorts, when it comes to foods I eat while in my home.  The disorder: a simple and boring repertoire of foods I eat on a consistent basis that I cannot seem to break myself from though I want to desperately.

The culprits:

• Low-fat yogurt
• Low-fat cottage cheese (I prefer low-fat yogurts and cottage cheese)
• Turkey sandwiches on whole-wheat
• Slim-Fast
• Eggs
• Orange Juice
• Lean Cuisines
• Cereal
• Fruit

Each time I go to the grocery store, I am CONVINCED that I am going to expand.  I AM GOING TO GROW!  I walk down each isle completely open minded to finding great foods to make great dishes.  (I watch Food Network religiously to find awesome new things to make at home.) Then it hits; JUSTIFICATION.  “Oh, that will take too long.”  “No, no, that will make me fat again.” THE DISORDER!, it takes over.  It causes me to forget all the great ideas I have and pick the boring.  Then, as I am checking out, I realize I have nothing special.  Nothing to break the status quo.  Nothing that is going to cure me! . . . I drive home in shame.

HOWEVER, what I find MOST FRUSTRATING is that is has not always been this way.  I used to make good food at home.  I used to be exciting and people looked forward to what I made for dinner.  I used to have good leftovers and it seemed as though I couldn’t cook fast enough to keep up with the ideas that I had.

Apparently, thus enters the need to be eating healthier. . . Catch 22, y’all.

I require a healthy redemption . . . heck, even the occasional indulgent redemption. . .

HELP!  My posterity deserves better!

Little Lady update

I HAVE A DREAM . . .

. . . about once every 3-6 months that is so terribly vivid and real than I wake up in sweat and with a racing heart.  This morning was just such a morning.

Specifically, I have been having dream that includes THIS individual:

I am being SERIOUS!  I dream that I am with my family in some foreign city during a big city-wide celebration.  Thousands of people are outside and awaiting a big announcement . . . Then it HAPPENS!  We hear a thumping in the distance that gets louder and louder until the T-Rex appears and all hell breaks loose!  People are screaming and running everywhere.  I panic and try to get my family together, but we get separated.  No matter where I go, the T-Rex follows.  I find cover for a bit and wait in silence . . . THEN HE STRIKES!

And OF COURSE, I can’t run fast in this dream so I have to jump over obstacles to confuse him.  Then it all comes to an end just before I get attacked . . . when I wake up.  I look over at my wife and kiss her and check on my baby.  Take about 10 minutes to recompose myself and go back to sleep hoping it does not happen again. (That’s the one benefit of being me, I can sleep or go BACK to sleep after almost anything.)

So, I HAVE A DREAM NIGHTMARE, and it blows!

UPDATE!

YET ANOTHER Little Lady update!

Caution: She is VERY cute and you will want to go swimming.

Little Lady update

Mercredi Gras

For you non-French speakers, that translates to FAT WEDNESDAY!You heard it here first, I am starting yet ANOTHER round of L.E.N.T.; however, I began my celebratory eating on Wednesday, it puttered around throughout Thursday, and finally my pious period began and I ashed myself on Friday. THUS, I am in full-blown lenting.

Lent \’lent\: : the 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday to Easter observed by the Roman Catholic, Eastern, and some Protestant churches . . . and Greg . . . as a period of penitence and fasting

Now, my Lent only includes sweets, added refined sugar, sodas/non-all-natural juices, and white breads/pastas/rice, but it is Lent none the less.  It is a great excuse to kick SKINNY 2010, Phase II, into place.

So, there you have it and YOU are going to help hold me to it!  I have already turned down Pineapple Dole Whips, world-famous cupcakes, as well as M&Ms and chocolate grahams (for those of you who really know me, turning down M&Ms is a big accomplishment).

Oh, and I forgot, I am FORMALLY asking you to JOIN me!  But only if you are not too scared. . . Let me know if you are in.

Official LENT Rules:

• Begin TODAY (or whenever you FIRST read this) and goes through FRIDAY, July 16, 2010 (This will be our Phase II’s GOOD FRIDAY). 
• Culinary Celebrations of Accomplishment begin no sooner than SATURDAY, July 17, 2010.
• LENT restrictions include, but are not limited to:
• No “sweets”
• i.e., cakes, cookies, candies, puddings, other confectionaries, and icings.
• No Sodas/Non-ALL NATURAL juices
• this includes NO diet drinks or sports drinks
• only ALL NATURAL juices allowed
• No white bread/pasta/rice
• only 100% whole grains
• . . . Go ahead an alter SLIGHTLY any of the above “restrictions” as to get you to join!

Riddle Me This . . .

Can one jinx a JINX?  Answer: kinda, but not totally.

Jinx TAKE ONE:

Flag Day, June 14, 2007, the day I married my beautiful bride (We did consider a May wedding for about 30 seconds, but then Megs started to sing that song from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers . . . They say when you Marry in June . . . and that was out the window.) It was a near perfect day, all until we were dropped off (quite literally 'dropped off’ by our limo driver.  Plug: DON’T use GLW Formal Affair.  Not cool, not cool.) at the Grand America Hotel for our wedding night.  We, Megs in her breathtaking wedding dress and I in my tux, were walked in and up to the counter to check in . . . and they couldn’t find our reservations.  The SAME reservations that were verified TWICE.  They looked at us, AT MIDNIGHT and CLEARLY having just been married, and said, “Sorry, maybe you could walk across the street to the Little America and stay in one of their rooms.”  I replied, “Maybe you could get a shuttle over there . . .”  They did . . . twenty minutes later.  Talk about a rain on our parade. Plug: The Grand America can kiss my butt.

Jinx TAKE TWO:

June 14, 2008: Our FIRST ANNIVERSARY.  We were in Nauvoo (we are kinda like junkies) having just celebrated with my grandma as she received her endowments in the temple.  My family left on the 13th and headed back to St. Louis to catch an early flight the next morning and Megs and I stayed that night to celebrate our anniversary.  The day was beautiful, but started to rain.  We were hearing reports of record flooding further north up the Mississippi and headed our way.  Water levels were rising at an alarming pace and bridges across the river were closing one after another.  After weighing out the pros and cons, we made the decision to leave that night (ended up being the right decision because the entire place flooded) and head to St. Louis before we were stuck.  We stayed that night . . . in the same room with my parents.  That’s right, with my parents.  Foiled again.

Jinx TAKE THREE:

June 13, 2009.  We were in Park City shopping at the outlets in preparation for our second anniversary.  On our way home, We got a call from Megs sister, Krista.  This would end up being some of the most heartbreaking news we had every received: Megs older brother, Jaman, had been battling a severe case of the Swine Flu and had just been taken, by ambulence, to the hospital and had most likely passed away.  We hurried home and packed our things and drove the longest one-hour drive of our lives to Centerville.  On that drive we got the news that he had passed away.  We spent that next week with family, packing up J’s things and preparing for the services.  I think we snuck away to Wendy’s or something like that for our celebration, but it didn’t matter that year. . . We miss you J.

Jinx TAKE FOUR:

June 2, 2010.  We were in hot pursuit of breaking the jinx, thus we celebrated a couple weeks early.  TAKE THAT JINX . . . kinda.  We had a gift certificate to the Armstrong Mansion and Megs made the reservations.  We had the night all planned out: Emmalee would have her FIRST SLEEPOVER at Meg’s parent’s house (deep breaths Megan, deep calming breaths), we would have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, go to a movie (first time with only us two . . . ever), and then back to our room; however, first things first, we checked into our room.  After pulling up, taking our stuff in, giving our information, and checking in, Megs handed the lady our gift certificate.  She looked at it, put in the information and said, “Thank you and enjoy your stay.”  Seeing that we still had nearly $80 remaining, Meg asked for the remainder in a gift certificate.  The young girl looked at us blankly, got on the phone with a manager, got off and said, “Sorry, we don’t do that.” . . . Excuse me!?  You don’t “give change”.  “Um, I could upgrade your stay” . . . “No” we say.  “I am sorry then” she says.  “Here are your keys back.  Don’t book us in.  Where is your manager?” we say.  “She’s out for another couple hours.”  she says.  “We’ll be in touch” we say.

We left completely boiling on the inside, but laughing all the same.  Here we were, trying to outsmart the jinx and we got screwed.  To sum up the rest, we went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, which was AWESOME.  If you have never been, GO and get the Orange Chicken and REDVELVET CHEESECAKE for dessert.

After dinner, all prepared to perform a little verbal judo on the manager, they agreed to give us back the “change” in a gift certificate and we stayed the night.  All in all, it ended up being a great night.

So, to sum it up.  You can’t totally jinx a jinx, but then again, maybe we don’t want to.  It gives us something good to talk about.  So here is to June 14, 2011.  BRING IT ON!

Ghetto Food

At least that is what my wife calls it.  Ghetto food, we all have it and adore it.  Well, I HOPE we all have a little in our lives.  What is this “ghetto food”, you ask?  Allow me to explain:

Ghetto Food: \ˈge-tō ˈfüd\ a nutriment in solid form that has become isolated, especially in conferring inferior status

Clear as mud?  Let me throw it at you in commoners terms:  Bologna with mustard dots, cheese and pickle sandwiches, Burger King breakfast, Malt-o Meal, Crinkly Noodles . . . (drooling, drooling).  Ringin’ a bell?

Ghetto Food: The random and simple, but amazing foods that each of us grew up with in which our neighbors and friends think are weird or even repulsive. . . GHETTO FOOD! 

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I am a lover of ghetto food.  Growing up in my family, we had our own unique blend that included (at the very top) Bologna with Mustard Dots.  Simple and easy recipe, really.  Take a piece of bologna and put in on a side plate.  Cut into small 1/2” squares and dot each piece with a little French’s Mustard.  Enjoy.  (Complemented nicely as a side dish to homemade Mac-n-Cheese.)

We may also add to that list some Malto Meal (served in a small bath of milk and sugar and to be served with toast–which MUST be divided equally-this is an important step as to keep the family peace) and Burger King breakfast to be consumed while watching a little early morning Little House on the Prairie.  No better way to begin 4th grade than with a little Sausage Biscuit con Laura Ingalls.

Megan also entered our marriage with her list of GFs.  Hers include Crinkly Noodles (we called them Macaroni and Caca Soup at my house) with cheese and Cheese and Pickle Sandwiches toasted under the broiler. 

While we find it of critical importance to pass these traditions along, we will also strive to create a few new ones of our own.  In the running include: Santitas with Franks RedHot, Orangesicle Jell-O, and Malibu Chicken.  We would also like to entertain yours.

HOMEWORK!

What is YOUR favorite Ghetto Food?  What really makes you tick (while making other dry heave)?  Please leave your submission via comment.  (And don’t just secretly read this blog and NOT leave a comment.  That is lame.  I have a sitemeter that says A LOT more people read this blog than comment.  AND I can even tell where you came from.  That means, I know who you are and that you did not complete the homework assignment.  So don’t be lame.  Comment.)

You may now start.