Out of touch....THANKFULLY!

You see, I have been married to my best friend and most beautiful person I know, inside and out, for a year and a half now. Not only this, but we dated (with a "minor" break) since the month after I got home from my mission. In all, we have been dedicated to each other (I will just ignore the past elephant in the room named Megan's old boyfriend) for almost FOUR YEARS! I LOVE my wife and I would not change my devotion and love to her for the world. She is so much of my joy.

That being said, we can conclude that my ability to flirt with strangers of the opposite sex has, respectfully, SUBSTANTIALLY DIMINISHED. HOLLA!

This was apparent today. As I walked into my Doctrine and Covenants class I sat myself next to a guy (I shall name him "Chuck"). Two seats away was another student, a nice young lady (I shall name her "Nancy"). After a couple minutes of silences, Chuck leaned over and asked Nancy, "When is the test for the class scheduled?" Nancy replied, "I don't know?" This is when I, being as friendly and as informative as usually, stepped in and said, "Friday." Chuck thanked me.

Chuck then leaned over in Nancy's direction and asked, "What are you going to do to prepare for the test?" Nancy really didn't know what she was going to do to prepare. "HELPFUL I" stepped in and informed them both that there was a convenient study guide posted online that would answer all their questions. Chuck and Nancy thanked me.

Chuck now turned his body toward Nancy and asked, "So, do you think we need to study up on maps and such for the test?" Nancy didn't know. I KNEW! "You need to know dates AND locations for the test. Review of the maps in your scriptures should be sufficient." Nancy thanked me. Chuck, initially did not. Chuck just stared at me with heavy eyes. Chuck THEN softly thanked me.

I asked myself, "why is Chuck being so nasty? I am just being helpful.......OH, I GET IT!" Sorry Chuck. How I have lost touch with things of flirting. Chuck was just trying to get his groove on and I thwarted that effort. Chuck just wants some affection; what's wrong with that?

I took hint and allowed Chuck to work his mojo. Chuck asked Nancy, "So what are you doing this weekend?" Nancy replied, "Going to a corn maze with my fiance."

LADIES, wear your ring. It will save Chuck time.

Odds and Ends

Today, NO COHESIVE POST!  Deal with it!

Megs and I celebrated FHE with a walk to the grocery store, but more importantly the REDBOX!  On Monday I get a free code and tonight's (or Megan's) pick was The Other Boleyn Girl.  It was pretty good, yet depressing.  Now Megs and I are plastered to Google, reading up on Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII, and Queen Elizabeth I.  They were NOT as pretty as they were depicted in the movie.  DON'T LET HOLLYWOOD FOOL YOU!  Anne Boleyn had SIX FINGERS on one hand and a large mole/goiter on her neck....

Another interview today.... Not half bad.

More interviews tomorrow...

JnK+8, new episode.

Have you seen the TLC show, 17 and Counting?  It is OUT OF CONTROL!  It's like driving past a car wreck; you know you are going to be grossed out, but you watch anyway.  We have bets on what religion they are.  I think Mennonite.  Hey, they make great bread!

Please enjoy some random pictures from our computer:

 

Well that's probably enough for now.  I am going to bed.

P.S.  Megs just explained why she doesn't blog: She contributes by editing my posts.  Hey, I just write it as I think it and think it just a little more simple than the rest.  Works for me.

But Google says...

So apparently you can google your personality based on your name. (Even if you parents admit it has NO significant meaning and they just enjoyed the name.  I may, or may not, have had issues with this.)  Technology has come so far and JUST NOW can I start to live.  I FINALLY know just who I am; at least one of the two.

Below are the two different DEFINITIONS OF GREGORY.  YOU DECIDED.

#1 - You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

#2- You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

Did I even EVER have a chance?  OR was I just "handful" from the start like google says? I should text ChaCha!

-console me.

P.S. Yesterday I ran into an old friend at The Walmarts (Southern spelling) and we had a great talk.  When he asked me how school was going, I said "great."  THEN he said, "You know, when I found out that YOU were going to BYU, I thought 'Wow, GREG is going to BYU?' Kind of an odd match, don't you think?"... Does this put me into #2 territory?

P.S.S. The wife and I went to Jekyll and Hyde the other night. (IT WAS AMAZING!) MAYBE, just maybe, I am a little #1 by day and a little #2 by night?  Maybe I need a new NIGHT NAME!... That might help with the insanity that google says are my two personalities. I should google a good name.

Tagged

You see, I have this incredibly funny and talented cousin named Stacey. Stacey and I were pretty much best friends growing up.  She lived just two streets over and we had a BLAST in EVERYTHING we did.  Why do we grow up?

Each year we would go to St. George together for a week with Grandma and Grandpa Nichols.  They lived down there and grandpa ran the gold shop.  I have MANY stories about Hoola Hoops, Suspicion, and the gas station and some AMAZING pictures that will have to be posted later, but boy, those were the good days!

ANYWHO, I was paroosing around on her blog today and saw this list.  I thought that I would take part:

5 things I was doing 5 years ago
1 - Serving in Heflin Alabama, aka HELL FELL IN!  Listen, 4000 people IN THE ENTIRE COUNTY!... The town preacher knew about me BEFORE I met him.  It was like Mayberry meets...Mayberry.

2-5. HEFLIN.  I won't bore you with stories.  I KNOW that stoned, glazed, distant look that each of you get when I start up, SO I WON'T.

5 favorite snacks
1- Reese's Peanut Butter....ANYTHING!  WHY?!

2- YOGURT!...and granola.

3- Apples, cold, cut into four slices, and cored

4- Sour candy.  BRING IT ON!

5- Anything gummy fruit.  The bulk candy at the grocery store....AH....

5 jobs I have had
1- Wingers's host and server.  Three HARDCORE years.

2- JCPenny telemarketing.  After only two weeks of employment, my resignation was placed in the "suggestion box" with a note that said "I suggest you send Greg Larsen his final paycheck in the mail."  This decision was made MID CALL from yet another woman ordering a size 48 triple E extra elegant black lace bra all in such a thick Southern accent that not even Oprah could work her magic.  (Karma kicked in and I got my mission call to ALABAMA two months later...)

3- Danville Services as job coach for adults with mental handicaps.  I LOVED THIS JOB!

4- Specimen Processor.  OH THE STORIES.  I got ALL the lab samples from the Northern Utah area.  My hands were on things not even the owner should have had to witness.

5- Manager at Rodgers Memorial Theatre.  This is where I began the saga that is MANAGER/BOY!

6- Unemployment....if only I got paid for interviews...

5 things I would do with a million dollars
1- Mortgage a home one day, and then walk in the next day with a briefcase full of cash and say, "Oh, I completely forgot that I had this." The amount of interest accrued in one day would be worth it.

2-Pre-pay the utility bills indefinitely.  I HATE paying the utility bill.

3- Travel the world with my family and see the architectural marvels of the world.

4- Buy my own nice rental properties in Provo and provide them free of charge for young families who show dedication and faith in their studies and in their personal lives.

5-INVEST and set a perpetuity for my family that provides the funding for annual excursions to the greatest historical parts of the world.

5 things that made me laugh this week
1- When I told myself that I would be in bed by 10:30pm every night this week.

2- When I realized that I left my slacks at grandma's and the only pair of pants that I had to wear to church were an old pair of pants that are now BOOTY PANTS... SHAME!

3- When my wife and I sang the GOLDEN GIRLS theme song to each other. I am NOT ashamed.  It's just how I roll.

4- When I almost went to an interview for one of those mall kiosk jobs.

5-When an old lady was rolled out of a restaurant on a STRETCHER flirting with the EMT.  Good to the last drop.

Thank You.

I'm not ashamed, not ashamed at all

Have any of you ever heard of ChaCha?  If not, you are missing out!  ChaCha has ALL the answers to ALL questions and it rests at your fingertips AT NO COST TO YOU.  NO MATTER what question you have (and let me reiterate - ANY QUESTION) you can text it to ChaCha.  Have you ever wondered the lyrics to a song while in the car?  ChaCha.  Have you ever needed to know the price of oranges at Wal-mart while comparative shopping at Albertson's?  ChaCha!

Why do I bring this up?  I am EMPLOYED by ChaCha.  I am the one sitting at the other end of your questions.  I answer them ALL!  (Remember what I said about ANY QUESTION?  You can't be TOO conservative to answer some of these questions.  Trust me, I push the limits)

ANYWHO, ChaCha strives to keep up with answer accuracy.  In such a feat, a sampling my answers are reviewed for quality assurance.  Every now and then I get and email of "encouragement" to enhance my answering abilities.  Today I got one such email.

FROM:

TO:  Greg Larsen

RE: Quality Assurance.

Dear Gregory,

The Quality Control Team had the opportunity to review some of your answers and wanted to provide you some feedback.  Please review the assessment of your response and consider alternatives to answer future questions. 

(I.E. We don't approve!)

My ChaCha answer in consideration:

Question - What is the best way to grow marijuana?

My Response - The best way to grow marijuana is with an understanding that you could go to prison...ChaCha supports a drug free America. CHACHA!

.......

Honestly, THIS is under consideration?  WHAT'S WRONG?  Honest, true, accurate....What else do they want?...

I will give them a "reviewed answer".

My REVIEWED Response - The best way to grow marijuana is with an understanding that you could go to prison..... DUMB A**!

Thank you!

BYU is not LDSBC

I have been in classes at BYU-Provo for about a month and a half now.....NOTHING!  Do you remember my days at LDSBC?  They were GREAT!  I met some kind of crazy EVERY DAY!  BYU is full of intellectual, grounded, and normal people......Okay so not THAT normal, but they are not the LDSBC clan. 

I will say one thing about campus....I am SO glad that I am married.  MEGAN I LOVE YOU!  Have you ever seen those animal planet (OR even better PLANET EARTH) shows that talk about how animals attempt to attract a mate... The mating rituals, songs, and dances that flood BYU are overwhelming.  The stupid things that I have heard guys say and seen girls do make me queasy.  The even better part is how you announce to the campus that you are taken.  If you are dating you must AT ALL TIMES hold hands!  NO QUESTIONS ASKED!  This secures your territorial rights. It says to the rest of campus, "we are devoted to each other.  I am a dedicated, responsible, and loving individual that you should have dated when you had the chance, BUT you are still welcome to call me and see for yourself if this doesn't work out...."  I AM BEING SERIOUS!

HOWEVER, even with the madness I am loving this place!  Things are going great and we are having a lot of fun.  I double dog dare you to come visit us!

Target to the rescue....not much longer.

When Meg's and I got married we were very generously showered with duplicate gifts.  Many would consider duplicate gifts a pain in the side, BUT NOT US!  We made our duplicates work FOR US.  We decided to convert our surplus into gift cards.....oh the joy that are gift cards!

Target has been the recipient of the bulk of our gift card joy and has been for almost a year and a half.  This week we realized the finite measure of our "free" shopping.  As we invested in the odds and ends (FYI-and for my conscience-Megs and I are quite sensible.  We respected each dollar that was gifted to us and only bought the essentials.) needed for everyday living we realized that we were quickly running our endless cash cow dry.  SO what practical decision did we make?... MATERNITY CLOTHES! 

My wife is going to be one HOT PREGO MAMMA! all thanks to Target and duplicate gifts.  Now just to find out how Karleen's can work for us....doilies....crap!

P.S. There really is opposition in ALL things.  As explained yesterday, the wife loves herself some JnK+8, but what she doesn't like is "Little People, Big World."  The problem with this is that it has replaced the JnK+8 time slots the past couple of days.... it has NOT been pretty.  I don't think her dislike extends itself beyond the actual show, but I have tried to keep her away from little people in general.  It just keeps things less messy.