I’m a MONSTER!

My wife and I do not do well with mess and/or clutter.  If we find ourselves getting a little snippy with each other, it’s a sign that we should probably get a cleanin’.  The past two weeks have been put us to the test, yet we’re surviving . . . barely.

Exhibit #1:  This is what our bedroom looked like within only an hour of being home from vacation. . .

Our bedroom flooded while we were gone.  THUS, we’ve been living in the front room until it is fixed by the HOA.  Emmalee thinks it is a two-week slumber party.  We are slowly going mad.  Side sad – but funny – note: The two gentlemen showed up this morning to work on the basement until one of them shot himself in the leg with a nail gun and ended up in the hospital!  I think the repairs may be hindered.  Life. 

I have not been myself lately. In fact, I have kind of let myself go.  So much so that today I realized that I had dropped the ball on a secret I have kept quiet for years; a secret I was convinced I would take to my grave.  A secret even I tried to forget; however, it’s too late now.  The proverbial cat has climbed out of its bag . . . and I will no longer contain it.

Now revealing this is big for me.  Why?  Because I’ve hidden this for years.  I never wanted anyone to see it because it disgusted me so much.  I’ve been hindered and held back by this abnormality for far too long.  Today it ends.  Today I let it all hang out.  Today is the day I look my oppressor in the face, reclaim him power over me, and proclaim “SCREW YOU!”  Today is the day I WIN!

Behold . . . my monstrosity.

Can you see it!  Don’t look away.  Isn’t is HORRIBLE!?  Right there on my right-hand ring finger.  Two long, repulsive, random HAIRS!  Thick, dark, grow-as-fast-as-a-damned-weed HAIRS!  They DISGUST me!  (There used to be three until I plucked the life out of one of them).  I have traditional succumbed to their demands and plucked them regularly, but apparently the flood has distracted me.  Like a thief in the night they have sprouted on me and grown out of control.

Regardless, there you have it. 

Life Checklist - Liberate yourself from hideous secret: CHECK!