Not So Funny

So last night, I finally gave in and agreed to watch "Funny Girl" with the wife. She has been wanting to get me to watch the "classics" for some time now, I needed a break from papers/presentations/powerpoints, and she needed a good Friday night. SO, we did it. (ACTUALLY, we started it on THURSDAY night, but I fell asleep. HOWEVER, those are just minor details, really.)

You know, for the most part, I really enjoyed myself (sorry grandpa Fred, I thought she did great). I laughed and even got a little excited when she started singing:

"Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter. Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter. Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my paraaaaaaaade."

HOWEVER, why didn't someone tell me that the ending was going to be CRAP? Complete CRAP!? I mean, come ON, Fanny Brice got the SHAFT.

It got me thinking. When I watch "classic" movies , I watch them for a reason. I watch them because they are NOT reality. I watch "classics" because truth prevails, the badguy is put to justice, and life problems are resolved in 2 hours and generally with song, dance, and even lots of lights. Why does Fanny (or Mr. Arnstein for that matter) think they can change that? Why do they think they can defy the connotation of a classic? Thus, allow me to draft a letter:

Dear Megan, love of my life,

I agree to watch your "classics" as long as their endings don't completely blow. I require at least that degree of consistency and reliability in my life.

Your loving husband and life companion,

Greg